Retained

i'm about to repeat my JC1!!! Just met up with Mrs Chin and we had quite a long conversation and she showed me the other side of the coin. This time more clearly. i must say that it's disappointing but how many times in your life do you get to do something right for another time, a Second Chance. Guess 2 years is too short for me, feeling now so attached to this fabulous school. Though there're times when i'm screwed up, i still enjoy it. Tasting the sweetness out of bitterness, like that of Chocolate. Hmm...self comforting but what really make me wanna promote was frankly the mocking eyes and criticising mouths, but then again, i've done it my way [the LOUSY way] haha! so there goes Billy happily enjoying another year of Freshman. Some people might see this as, aiya, why liddat, wasting time. But i think its for my own sake, for a better future i guess, if i do change drastically for the better... hoho =p

Well well, i'm quite sad la, but dunch send me msges like "dun be sad k"cos its like so obvious and that phrase aint gonna make me feel better anyhow. and i guess this suspension of whether i promote or retain has murdered the zest of blogging. So here i am, back from delusions and reflections. Gotta write more...heheh :) i feel blessed but i hope my parents arent too hurt?! what a disappointing son aye...

You treasure nothing till you lose something

Paper War

AHHHH! my desk has declared war! All the buildings of papers, magazines and books have tumbled down, debris all over, casualties as high as 2 trees. Everyday, the tension increase as i add more weight to the present situation, just to make my bag lighter...SELF INTEREST!

I'm getting FAT and my stamina is zoom zoom down the negative gradient! haha! all that coke, fastfood and crackers...WoOoHoOo!!! gotta cut down on those inputs of fats.

You know i mentioned something about appreciation and sacrifice after reviving my blog aye? just gotta postponed it all to this entry. RAIN! okie it goes like that, once upon a time we all lived happily ever after! hahahaha! no la...i wanna watch vcd! will continue later...stay tune!! haha! BRB

Vivo Wolala

I went to Vivo City today, what really caught my attention was the exterior instead of its interior, where women would think otherwise. We [Yeowlin, MingMing, Yuanni, Jupiter and ME] walked the bay. We sat down, slotting our legs in between the floor and the first level of metallic defense. There you see the endless sky and the bottomless sea, the water surface seem to reflect the sky, projected into the image of the sea. Such magnitude! WoW! So i sat in the serenity and think, its a damn good place to think about stuff, about life, about anyone. I can assure you that you won't be bothered by any surrounding noise, not even when someone comes to rob you! hahah!

Oh! The Guardian is real good, long and touching, though some scenes are kinda expected. then we went Carl's Jr for some real fast food and burppppPPPPP!!!!! real full!! Free flow of drinks! wahahahaha!!! okie! i shall sleep soon! oh! we went arcade too! Great FUN!! what a fruitful day!! heheh =)

Carefree Rocks!!!

Missing Jive

i have lost the zest to blog. hmm...i'm plagued with an unknown, and since it's unknown, there seems to be no cure. Dots...Dammit..

The Heart of Worship

Granted

Feeling rather bored today, with the haze and rising humidity and the baked concrete grounds where conduction, convection and radiation help make the air warm and uncomfortable. A choking feeling overwhelmed fatigue during training yesterday. Oh! MiaoQin, you with your lousy assumption!! ahahaha!! well well, i borrowed this book from library, hmm...its called The Face of Deception. We humans just love to disguise, halloween parties, christmas, and i just pon church today, 4th time le! haiss...lacking in consistency, but convenience has prompt me to go to the nearer one. i've been a regular visitor to it but then...

am i a Christian or Catholic?

i was thinking about this yesterday night when i was on my way home. [my fren just drew the curtains!! the splash of light was like an enlightenment! hahaah! owell] What about taking others for granted? i was perusing the very same thought when our sec 4 form teacher asked us if we were taking her for granted. She was motherly, nice and warm, but we just pushed her nearer to the cliff when she started to think that we are a bunch of ungrateful kids. Let me start painting my own portrait. hmm...you know, i tend to have double standards you know. One for the family and close ones, the other for frens near the shore. When i was less thoughtful, i always thought that whatever i do, my parents will understand, tolerate. And similarly for some couples, when they argue, something like this might just pop up "i thought you would understand" sounds familiar huh?! haha! well that's the case, we always assume that the other party would understand. But today, i gotta tell you one very simple fact, humans aint mind readers, so if you want someone to understand, say it before further misunderstandings arise and make situation sour ~cream~ [i want Ruffles CHIPS] so here's a way how i take my parents for granted, i assume they understand and take that assumption for granted and carry on irresponsible acts...of childsihness? well, i dunno. Look back into your life, someone take you for granted before or vice versa? then maybe its time for you to make things clear. Hmm...what i wrote up there no link aye?

What i'm trying to say is that its not reasonable for your parents or friends to be nice to you or what, they are willing to love but don't take that love for granted and start exploiting it...aiya...what rubbish! nonsense...confusing myself and my damn keyboard is corked up!!! ArgHh! i exploit everyone, how sad?!

Like Christ is so hard

what do you feel when you get taken for granted what do YOU feel? Feels good? i doubt so!

Dots

yes i shall not end my blog in such a fashion. My blog shall be a fairy tale, with endings like happily ever after!! haha! actually i dunno what to write now, the air con in the library has partially froze my brain! Think about appreciation and sacrifice, i will blog this in my next entry and see if you agree with mua.

oh! we, as in HC students and morning prayer group members, went for an overnight cycling trip! It was great fun, gaining and losing calories. cos we cycle cycle then stop by changi village to feast!! ate 2 plates of Nasi Lemak [spelled liddat? corrected by ZiHang~ i wrote Laksi Lemai!! XD] and teh tarik and milo dino!!! we pass by airport runways and observed the planes take off, the lights around the planes outlined the grace. So free, so beautiful, soaring into the air. I just saw Nutella and Zihang [aka Bread] hahah! Dunch wanna blog le...hais...i still...

Born retarded!

Jerkiness

i'm a jerk gamboling in denial, smiling in shame, now that i've perorate the one year long essay. My cocky pride has turned into pathetic plight. What has become of me. I think i shall retreat into privation, keep it there and let it be there. This entry shall be my swan song while i self-reflect upon betraying and taking other's trust for granted. Thank you, sorry and God bless...

So long :(:

Just another

1:00am Half way through my viewing of Devil Wears Prada, various thoughts came popping up in my mind, pretty well illutrated in the movieee...

Well the first was, at work place, you're this freshie from college, got this Job, guided by this colleague at work, in the end you do her job better than she does. The boss thinks you're better too and there goes the double standard, not that it dint exist from the time you, the freshie, entered the doors of i dunno...hell, heaven, challenge? you name it but this time the DS is swinged around, toppled by luck. You got the assignment that your colleague has prepared the year for, now you snatch it away. Do you think its fair? The boss being very harsh and mean tells you [who no longer fresh] to inform your colleague that she will not have that assignment. Well, no doubt the collegue will be super duper furious but what can you do ya? You dun take that opportunity, Boss fires you, you take it, your colleague hates you. Sandwiched between both equally tough decisions...what will you do? If you choose to give it up, there will be someone else as smart and efficient as you in that same spot again, it goes round and round. So does it change your decision now? Try to search into your life and look for similar examples where tough decisions were made...what did you actually do? Did you regret, did you feel guilty sad shitty? hmm...well there's no right or wrong to whatever you choose but there's consequences to bear and responsibilities to be taken on. shucks! i forgot what i wanna add on...

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Oh! for example, after taking up this Job, you dressed differently, speak in a different tone, different priorities and list goes on and on and merry goes round! People change dun we? We seem to mind when people say we change. We would like to seek the difference, the past me and the present me? What exactly changed? Well, sometimes we change our habits our style our manners and so on...So what will you do with your good friend? Hope that he or she understand the change? Hope things will just return back to normal when all's right!? Well i gotta tell you the bad news, nothing will in fact work out right unless you do something about it. Hard isn't it? like 2 personalities, one at work, one in front of your friends. But ain't we all doing that now? For me i've got 2 personalities, the childish heck care Billyboy and the serious or sometimes pissed off Billy. Yeah, i like the childish front, you get me? But damn, my height etc does not allow me to be totally irresponsible, at the age of 18, too old to loiter in childhood. Should be bringing the good qualities into adulthood while leaving the bad values to rot as time pass. i shall finish my movie if not i wont be able to wake up tmr... oppss, is there assembly tmr? i doubt so, not in Billy's post promos schedule. Sorry! haha!

to be continued
name the mix breed of a French and a Greek!
ans: Freak! lame yaya!!

Let it not rule

i'm gonna tell you a little story about a guy. The setting, Hwa Chong Basketball courts, characters involved, all sorts of Hwa Chongians... he participated in FOS basketball, struggling through first round with a lucky free throw from his teammate. The amounting fatigue and dehydration was forcing him into a sub-conscious state, well awared about the surroundings but the mind seem to stop momentarily. During the second game, he was intimidated, he was dribbling with wobbly legs and feeble hands, every step was 2 times harder than the normal ones. Every dribble, he wants to look down and probably drop to the ground and lie there, baked by the hot floor and scorching sun, dead as ever, motionless for that spilt second. But the existence of my teammates and thought of losing pushed him on like an imaginary force, so powerful. Guess What!! No matter where you are, what you are doing, you will need someone! hahaha!

then then, as the player was agitated, the rage blurred his vision, the frustration took over other thoughts. Resulting in a few lousy plays and passes. Well, how many times have you let anger take over totally? How many times have you blasted at someone before you found out the truth? Do you feel guilty? Or do you not? i must say that this is a very bad habit that i have on court, not so much in my social life, cos maybe i got super high EQ!! just kidding! well yup that's the message of the day!!! so let neither immediate anger nor fuming frustration stop you from thinking properly! haha!

Thank Jeremy!!!
Laxing Rachel!!!
and guess who's the guy! its none other than mua!!! muahahahaha!!!

I'm gonna Own!
tmr is a different Billy!

Disclaimer

While i'm sitting here blogging and mugging Biology, the S6s are rejoicing, liberated from exams and stress? haha! well well, the ordeal was a pleasant experience isn't it? I guess the feelings after exams are always too good to happen elsewhere and at any other time. Breaking free, running out of the muggish atmosphere, shop eat sleep play without the dreadful thought of exams next day. hmm...i sound like i finish mine [which isn't the case XD]

oh! i wanted to say that all that fabulous wholesome things that i've brought up and present to ya are mistakes i wish that you people do not make. Not that i'm excellent or gentlemanly or nice or charitable or you name it. I present to ya my defects, my flaws, my guilt, my anguish. I hope you read and think and maybe change for the better. oh if you are doing fine already, then maybe you wanna beee the best! haha! well, maybe before you sleep everyday, reflect what you've done for the day, for the past 8-16hours when you wake up from your wonderful dreams, stepping into a brilliant morning. [define morning, Billy says 12pm!!! breakfast + lunch = economical meals] hahahaha! Maybe you spent your whole day staring into the computer, searching for pleasure [i meant gaming XD] well, do you think that you would have done something much more meaningful. Not that gaming is meaningless but relatively meaningless. Go read relativity by Mr Albert Einstein! i dunno what's in it but i know its about Relativity!!! hahaha!! sorry, just being lame! So yup! maybe you can donate all your blood!!! just kidding!!! [My friend just came back from school, talking to his Girlfriend, sounded quite childish, wonder how women tame men?!?! haha] i'm going no where, so i shall end here... :):)

Oh! btw, mr or ms or mrs or mdm mysterious, i hope that you're anyone but my tutors! hahah! thanks for visiting this blog!

she's short
she's fleshy
she's average
but she got the most beautiful heart
will you love her? XD
God replied: Definitely! i will love depsite all human discrimination.