My History

i was questioned in one of the comment from the previous entry. If i hurt anyone before. yea i know you dint meant any animosity and i shall satisfy your curiosity. Well i made a real bad mistake in sec3 that i, till now, regretted. i'm not going into detail but its something related to people. Of course its related to people right! How would you be able to make anything else sad! hahaha! its kinda complicated, maybe because i never look at it as anything simple in any perspective. its about relationship, me adding salt to her wounds. aggravating her sadness, i was somehow manipulative with my words, asking for it, yet i dislodge my true feelings at that moment, the time when things were ready to blossom. So there goes the false hope, like a bomb, an air raid in the middle of the night that struck her right smack in her heart. i guess? Maybe some of you are just not close enough for me to hurt you. So i tend to treat others nicer now, because of the living guilt that loiters somewhere i cant take it out. And it has formed stereotypes in my life, i fear once again and thus locked those feelings in my soul, zip my mouth to prevent a wrong move again. i've learnt my lessons well, preach the way to hang on and i dunno. This is my history!
Therefore, conclusion is that, i'm not so nice afterall.

and this is something i would like to share:

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box. "There are 5 things you need to know," he told the pencil, "Before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be."
[1]: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone's hand."
[2]: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you'll need it to become a better pencil."
[3]: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make."
[4]: The most important part of you will always be what's inside."
[5]: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write." The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.Now replacing the place of the pencil with you. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.
[1]: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.
[2]: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems in life, but you'll need it to become a stronger person.
[3]: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.
[4]: The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside.And
[5]: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.

Allow this parable on the pencil to encourage you to know that you are a special person and only you can fulfill the purpose to which you were born to accomplish.Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is insignificant and cannot make a change.